Sta.sh
I truly am.
I am so sorry.
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The darkness of thoughts I forget at times the darkness of my thoughtsThe darkness of thoughts by ~pnx031
The darkness that feeds my actions
I forget how I can be
Destructive
I get tired from doing nothing
Nothing as the others see it
For me is too much
Too much exposure
Too much love
The pride in my sayings
The passiveness of my thoughts
The standstill under a few ideas
That if not confirmed surround me
Cloud my judgement
The blur in my eyes doesn't recognise friend from foe
And everything collapses
Everything breaks
A mirror shuttering
A bleeding fist
A pair of eyes crying
not my own
never my own
And from then on
It all smells smokey
Alcohol and puke
It's dark
A
Lowest of lowest I think I am having a prolonged mental breakdownLowest of lowest by ~pnx031
lost thoughts about dead people
living people
lost people
unaware of my place
and my purpose
in what used to be my life
I used to know a cause
I used to know who I was
and my position
It's all a blur covered in smoke and dizziness
I've chosen the truth
but do I live by it?
Do I?
I'm shut enclosed in a casket
and ready to go
deported
Everything was clear to me
My goals
My actions
everything.
Black and white
that is all I see
that is all that I notice
what lies in between ?
You can't be both
I think I've chosen good
the white
built morals
built a persona that
Every day every day woken up by the silenceEvery day by ~pnx031
a morning young
a broken heart
and ready to walk out of the door
to drain away my thoughts - to work
every day living this highway
forgetting away all of my pains
let it heal
let it scar
it is with you
it is who you are
every day living
awoken to what should feel like dreaming
no time to rest
no time to sleep
your thoughts are with her
dont think...
let it be
every day dreaming
of that one and pure girl
talking to random strangers
you are always scratching
those scars
every day in this shit-hole
in another country
building a home
trying it, my way
to let it heal
make it home
Nothing of any value I've really become weakNothing of any value by ~pnx031
i am just a whimp
a loser
of awayed people
lost in discomfort that they gave me
in rights that they haven't won.
Strong
Bastard
Confident
Asshole
Yeah I am all of that
put caring and i am a wuss.
I hate that life made me this
I hate that I'll turn a creep
soon hours after this
I cannot care
should not care
no-one returns the favour
and it hurts
I talk and talk
but who pays attention?
who looks in my eyes to see?
I look in all
and face eyes that are empty
and the eyes that I show me
those eyes look away
they despise
they find that there is nothing to find
it is all a scam
and even if they
Fear 
